Hi there,
It takes a village to sustain healthy high performance.
Healthy High Performers don’t operate in isolation but rather thrive within a supportive ecosystem.
In our journey through life, we all encounter moments when we need support, whether it’s during challenging times or as we pursue personal goals.
A supportive network provides the resources, emotional support, and collective strength needed to excel in demanding roles and contribute to the long-term success.
Before we go over the steps, let me share a client’s story with you.
I had a client whose company’s operation was managed regionally by 5 different leaders.
Their operations ran 24/7, and there were always cases of emergencies that needed output from the management team after hours or during the weekends.
In the conversation about their stressors at work, one of their leaders told me that she was constantly anxious about work even when she was at home with her family.
Every second, she thought a bad email was going to hit her inbox.
This fear stopped her from recharging and recovering her energy at home – leaving her completely exhausted.
It also made her feel guilty because she was not giving her best to her family.
Her case of “anticipation anxiety” is real, and looking at an individual level, there was not much to do about it except tell her to change jobs.
Other solutions were equally unrealistic.
In our conversation, I asked her if she thought the other 4 leaders responsible for that region were experiencing the same problem.
She said they were all responsible for addressing emails from frontline employees as they came in.
All 5 of them checked the inbox, and in most cases, whoever saw an email first, answered it first.
I asked her if she thought the other 4 leaders would be willing to answer all the emails one night a week to let her focus on resting without worrying about things in exchange for her doing the same thing on another night for them.
This way, they could take an ACTUAL break from work and disconnect on some nights.
She said she didn’t know, but she was willing to add it to their next meeting’s agenda.
Long story short, the 5 leaders decided that 2 people could cover each night and gave each one of them 3 workday nights of absolute disconnect from work.
They also came up with a rotating plan for weekends. Everyone was happy!
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5 Steps to Build Your Village and Social Support System
1. Reflect on Your Needs
Consider the type of support you require and its trigger points (the circumstances, when you require that, etc.)
For example: I need someone to hear me venting when I get bad news.
I need someone to give me career advice when facing a career decision.
I need a colleague to take my shift when emergencies happen. I need someone to babysit when I want to lock myself in the bathroom.
Reflecting on your needs enhances your emotional intelligence, enabling you to navigate and communicate your emotions effectively.
Identifying trigger points ensures that the support you seek is specific and tailored to the challenges you are facing.
2. Identify Potential Supporters
There are usually 3 ways to find supporters: (1) your friends and family, (2) communities and social groups, and (3) paid professionals.
For example: One may exchange babysitting hours with their trusted neighbors.
They may join a social club for parents in their community that has a babysitting program. They may pay for a babysitter.
Having a great social support system is linked to lower levels of stress, anxiety, and depression.
Seeking support from paid professionals adds an extra layer of expertise, ensuring you chose the best approach to address your challenges.
3. Diversify Your Support Network
Avoid relying solely on one or a few people for all your needs.
Come up with a backup plan. Two reasons:
(1) You may burn them out: You’ll overwhelm them with many tasks and burn them out eventually, and
(2) They may burn you out: If they stop supporting you, all those things will fall on you at the same time.
Diversification prevents burnout by distributing the support load across multiple professionals.
A diversified support network enhances your resilience, ensuring you have alternative avenues for assistance.
4. Communicate Your Needs
expectations to potential supporters, so they understand how to help you. Be specific about the kind of support you require.
Examples: “Hey, friend, each Friday evening, I’d like us to have a phone conversation and brief each other on our week.
I just want to use that time to vent about my work, and I need you to listen without trying to offer any solutions.
I’ll do the same for you.” “Hey, sibling, I may call you last minute and ask for help with house chores or the baby when I feel super overwhelmed.
I want to feel like I can rely on you for those moments, and I’ll also do these things that you hate to do for you.”
Clear communication fosters understanding, strengthening the bond between you and your supporters.
Specificity in expressing your needs ensures that the assistance you receive is targeted and relevant.
5. Maintain Relationships (The Most Difficult!)
Regularly check in with your supporters when you don’t need their help.
You don’t want to be known as a person who only calls when they need help.
After each time they help you, show appreciation and gratitude.
It matters, don’t say they already know. Everyone likes to be reminded that someone out there appreciates them.
Building strong relationships takes time and effort.
So, if you think you’re always too busy or you think getting coffee or having a phone conversation with this person is a waste of time, you need to take a pause, go back to Step 1, and truly understand why it takes a village to sustain healthy high performance.
Regular check-ins build a reciprocal dynamic, creating an environment where support flows both ways.
Expressing gratitude fosters positive emotions, benefiting both you and your supporters.
Building a strong support system is not just about surrounding yourself with people; it’s a psychological strategy deeply rooted in self-awareness, social connections, and effective communication.
By reflecting on your needs, identifying potential supporters, diversifying your network, communicating openly, and maintaining relationships, you can improve your health and wellness, become happier, prevent burnout, and sustain healthy high performance.
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